Alisha knew what she had to do
by Belle D'Arcy
Summary: Alisha knew he was lying when he said nothing was bothering him. She remembered him saying that he wouldn't let her die. So she decided to keep her eyes open for any possible danger that might be the real reason for his coming back. s2e4 Alt.Ending   more
1. Alisha has doubts

She knew that he was lying when he told her it was nothing. She was just about to get up from the bed and leave his lair when he instinctively stopped her and just stood there, looking at her, as if it was the last time he was going to see her. She recognised that look. It was the same look her mother gave her before she left them years ago. Alisha could never forget that look, so full of regret and determination at the same time. That is why when she saw Simon smiling at her his half-smile she already knew something dreadful was going to happen. The thought made her nervous and she hurriedly left the apartment, eager to be alone so that she could think, try to guess what he was up to.

Next thing she knew, this total weirdo with the gun kidnapped Kelly, talking some crazy stuff about Conti giving him back his money. Alisha was sure all of them were in real danger. 'Could it be _this_ that he's here about?' she thought as she ran to warn the others. 'He knew this was going to happen, I saw it in his eyes this morning. He'll be with us soon enough to help us. I must be prepared.'

So they decided to rob a bank and give Tim 'his' money, hoping that this will put an end to the game in his head. But things never turn out the way you expect. Before they could decide what to do next, they were all hanging on meat hooks from the ceiling, absolutely helpless and scared as shit. The mad gamer returned with a chainsaw and seemed ready to use it on Alisha to show the others that they can't fuck with him. It was so close that even Nathan managed to master some bravery and offer that he should be cut to pieces first.

Curtis used the moment the madman wasn't paying him any attention and kicked him in the face, shouting at Alisha to run for her life. And Alisha ran.

Running had proven the best source of inspiration. She had never noticed it before, but all her great ideas came to her while she was on the run. She didn't run all that often but the last weeks had been quite strenuous and full of action so she now had enough experience in order to trust the thought that came to her as she was running around the old warehouse.

All of the others were still hanging from the meat hooks. None of them was going to save her. And that guy with the chainsaw was properly mental so she had no hope he'll give up any time soon. And she was just a girl, having a bad hair day, wearing not the most comfortable sneakers. She was bound to get tired and make a mistake. And he was going to find her. The answer was simple, really: Simon, her Simon, had told her he's here to protect her, to make sure she doesn't die. Today was the day he saved her life.

But somehow she didn't think it was all that simple. Somehow she knew that, if he was sure they'll both survive, he wouldn't have looked at her like that this morning. He was here somewhere, probably watching her every step, waiting for that damned clock to strike the right second. Well, she wasn't going to wait for that to happen. It was time she used her powers for what they were there all along – to save herself. And maybe the man she loved as well.


	2. Alisha changes the present

She saw the mental gamer enter the room she was hiding in but she just stood there, calm and smiling. That caught him off guard. He was used to everybody either running from him or trying to kill him. She wasn't doing either. She looked as if she wanted to speak but she didn't move. Not when he approached her, gun pointing directly at her forehead. Not even when he pressed it to her temple. She was just smiling at him, waiting for him to calm down so she could speak.

'I'm gonna kill ya, you bitch!' – he sounded almost irritated at her not paying attention to his treats. Alisha realised that she should probably play along, so she let a bit of her fear show while at the same time very, very slowly raising her hand to meet his. He backed off a bit, looking confused.

'Wat'ya tryin'to do? You ain't getting out a here alive, you hear me?'

'I was just wondering…' – Alisha started, thinking carefully what she wanted to say, 'if you might consider… you know, going out with me if I told you who the undercover cop was…'

From the way he looked at her she knew she had hit the right button. Mentioning that she knew who the traitor was bought her time and she decided to take her chances. She moved very carefully a step closer to him. She lifted her left hand, keeping it wide open so that he could see she wasn't holding anything. 'I just want to touch you', she said, doing her best to sound seductive and honest at the same time.

A second later she knew she had won. The guy was on top of her, screaming how he wanted to shag her brains out, put his cock in her mouth and have her sing lullabies while sucking him deep throat. His gun was a couple of meters away and he now looked fairly harmless. Alisha never thought she would say something like that about a guy who was trying to rape her. But she knew Future Simon was on his way, maybe already there and she just needed to give him time. Maybe he had seen all of that and was still recovering from the shock of how clever she really was. Or maybe he was enjoying watching her in the arms of some other man. He had told her once that he liked it when she was jealous. Maybe this wasn't the only thing he liked about her…

Whatever the reason, Future Simon was taking his time and Alisha had already started panicking again when suddenly there was a gunshot and the mental fell silently on top of her. There was a whole on his left temple, so perfect Alisha couldn't get her eyes off it. It reminded her of the new guy they had met the day before, Oly. He had received the same treatment. It seemed so long ago…

For a couple of long seconds Alisha couldn't quite put the pieces together. And then she saw him, appearing out of thin air, kneeling beside her, reaching to touch her, to make sure she was all right… and then backing off, suddenly remembering that she was still untouchable. It was Simon but it wasn't the Simon she had expected. Alisha felt she was falling in some kind of trance but she couldn't fight it. 'It's over, you are safe.' Simon was telling her. His words soothed her and she let herself sleep.


	3. and the future

She woke up after what seemed to be weeks of horrifying nightmares about Future Simon getting shot by that same gun that had saved her life. She was in an unfamiliar bedroom; sheets ink blue, walls clean and bare. Not a single object seemed out of place. On the window pane there were DVD boxes, maybe a hundred of them. There was a small table near the door with some weird plastic robot that looked like a ludo pawn. She distantly remembered seeing something like that as a kid.

She tried to sit up in the bed. Her whole body creaked as she lifted herself to take a better look, not too sure whether she wasn't still dreaming. She was just observing the items on the writing desk when Simon entered the room. He looked shyly at her, obviously not used to seeing girls in his bed, and attempted to smile. Everything was coming slowly back now and Alisha felt a wave of relief wash over her. She was still alive and so was Future Simon. Or so she thought at least. She hadn't seen him at the warehouse but she clearly remembered now Present Simon killing the mental guy and getting him off her. So that problem was solved. Thanks to this calm, quiet boy, standing awkwardly at the end of his own bed, waiting for her to speak first.

'Thank you.' was all Alisha could master at the present moment. Her mind was racing now, dwelling upon the possibility of some other awful thing happening to _her_ Simon while she was unconscious. She had to go and find him, tell him she knew what he wanted to do and make him feel bad about underestimating her like that and then leaving it to his scared present self to protect her.

'It's ok. How do you feel?' Simon looked worried. He just stood there, tray with tea and some fruit in his hands, and observed her. She felt like he could read her mind and that scared her. 'They are too much alike', she thought. She had to be out of there before she had confessed him everything.

'I… I think I'm fine. There's somewhere I should be. I'm sorry, Simon, we'll talk later about that, ok?'

Simon's half-smile disappeared and he almost dropped the tray. 'Oh…ok. You sure you're all right? Would you like me to walk with you?'

'No, thank you, it's not that far away.' That was a lie. She had absolutely no idea where Present Simon lived so the moment she left she stopped a cab that drove her to Future Simon's lair. She ran inside the elevator and paced impatiently from foot to foot all the way down. As she entered the apartment she already knew: he had left for good.

The clocks on the wall were still, it was dark and cold. The sheets on his bed were still messed up from the last time they had made love, the previous morning before she left. She sat on the bed. She could still feel the warmth of his body snuggled up to hers, the scent of his skin when he would come from behind and hug her tight. But she somehow knew it was over.

She was sitting there, looking at the elevator shaft when she noticed a twinkling light from the other side of the apartment. She ran to it, hoping that it might be a message from him, telling her he will be a bit late and asking her what she would like for dinner. He had never done that before, leave her a message, but isn't that what people do for each other: change?

She found the light was coming from some weird device on the small table near the shower. She pressed the button and Simon's face appeared in from of her. It was a simple hologram but it looked so alive she felt the need to touch it. All she caught was the cool air. Simon smiled.

'I'm sorry, but I'm afraid our skin contact has come to an end. I must go. I just needed to tell you that…' here his smile grew bigger and a bit mischievous. 'That I am so very proud of you. I didn't think it possible that something will change the course of events like that. Turns out I was wrong. Turns out it was not you that needed saving today. I was there, you know. I was prepared to… I was prepared to do what I thought was the only option. And then you proved I wasn't that smart after all.' His smile faded and he looked deep into her eyes. How _did_ he know where her eyes would be, she wondered. 'I wish I could tell you more. About your future. About _our_ future. After today, however, I really don't know what it will be anymore. I just hope… I just hope you give the present version of me a chance. Remember: it's you falling in love with him that makes him become me. Go on, live a little. After all, you just changed the future.' And with a final wink that Alisha would watch again and again in the weeks to come he was gone.


	4. Simon explains it all

A week had passed since the accident with the mental gamer. Nobody had seen nor heard of Alisha. Pretending to be sick, she was avoiding them, still not sure what she wanted to do next. She had decided to stay at Future Simon's flat until she made up her mind. Everything reminded her of him but she was happy. She missed him, of course, but she knew he had returned to his own timeline. His job here was done, they were safe again and Alisha felt she could really fall in love with her saviour, the shy weird boy she now understood like no other. The future was bright again and that photo taken in Vegas seemed more plausible than ever. They just needed time. And, thanks to _him_, they now had all the time in the world.

Exactly a week later her doctor told her he couldn't cover up for her anymore. She had to go back to her job at the community centre or whatever it was they were doing there. So she went out early the next morning. She wanted to meet Simon on the way there and probably have the chance to talk to him in private. She still didn't know exactly what had happened. Kelly had been calling her, but Alisha wouldn't pick up. She was too busy daydreaming about the day this Simon will be able to touch her. Future Simon seemed almost unreal now, like a bedtime story you've heard all too often and now feel as if you've actually been there. So Alisha dressed as casually as she could, hurried out and kept her eyes open for Simon.

She found him soon enough. Dressed in black, he was quite handsome, she thought. She tried to call out to him, but he had his headphones on and was frightened when she ran up to him.

'D'you want to walk in together?'

Seeming confused, he looked around, obviously thinking it was some kind of a cruel joke. Alisha went on.

'You don't have to if you're embarrassed to be seen with me.'

'I've never been embarrassed to be seen with you.' There was nothing apologetic in his voice. He had never avoided her; on the contrary, he was always as pleasant as he could manage. 'He's one of the few people who don't judge me,' she thought.

'Good. Ready?'

Finally he made up his mind and followed her. They walked in awkward silence for a moment.

'What are you listening to?' Alisha asked.

'Echo and the Bunnymen.'

'Never heard of them.'

Simon didn't look surprised. 'I should have thought he's into indie music,' passed through Alisha's mind. Simon was handing her one of the earphones. He made sure he didn't touch her hand while doing so and Alisha smiled guiltily. His expression was clearly saying 'You're going to hate this, but remember, you asked for it.'

'This is really depressing.'

Simon just smiled. They were walking very close to each other now, their shoulders constantly touching. Alisha had so many questions. There wasn't going to be a better moment to do this.

'Simon, what happened, what exactly happened that day?'

'You mean when we were hanging from those meat hooks?'

'I couldn't have put it better myself,' Alisha half-smiled.

'We got lucky. Nikky teleported herself.'

'But she can't control it!' Alisha wasn't getting it.

'Yes, but she somehow managed to do the thing she wanted most. She got off the hook.'

'And then? She let all of you down too?'

'She let me down first. I asked her.' Simon's voice deepened a bit.

'Why?'

'I thought I could turn invisible and get unnoticed near the mental gamer. I thought I could neutralize him.' He sounded a little ashamed of himself, but at the same time proud that he had lived up to his own expectations.

'So it was all you? You shot him?'

'I had to. He was hurting you. By the time I had carried you back the others were free and we took you home. I mean, we took you to my home. It was the closest. We didn't know where your parents live.'

'You carried me? God that must have been difficult!'

'It was all right.' From his expression she could see it must have been pretty hard.

'Simon, I never properly thanked you. May I do it now?'

'There is no need.' He was _very_ uneasy.

'Indeed, there is.'

Alisha said that and stopped. One of the earphones was still in her ear so Simon had to come to a halt as well. Alisha turned to him. It was hard for her to look him in the eyes, he still reminded her too much of _her_ Simon.

'Thank you,' she whispered. She took the hood of her sweatshirt and carefully placed part of it on his cheek and then kissed it. It was the most awkward thing she had even done.

'That was _so_ not cool, I'm _never_ doing that again,' Alisha smiled shyly.

'No, it was… it was nice.'

'You better have this back,' Alisha said, handing him carefully his earphones. 'I've had quite enough depressing music today, thank you.'

They were almost at the community centre now. In under a minute they would be meeting the rest of the 'gang'. Alisha only hoped they didn't get in trouble again anytime soon.

The first thing they heard as they entered the dressing room was Nathan saying 'Some bastard killed me last night.' This was going to be one hell of a quiet day.


	5. She was not to be the first

'You annoy people.'

Alisha couldn't help but laugh at the innocent sincerity in Simon's voice. He was so adorable when he said stuff like that. He was very brave in his own quiet way and everybody liked him for it. Except for Nathan, who just had to tease him because he had an awful headache, a result of his recent coming back to life.

'Why would you even say something like that? That's very hurtful. I thought we were friends, you ungrateful little twat.'

'Don't speak to him like that!' the words escaped her mouth before she had time to think, so she was almost as surprised as everybody else. Why would she defend Simon, really? It was not as if Nathan was saying anything more than his usual disgusting nonsense. Simon wouldn't even pay attention to him, he had heard all of it numerous times before. But now that Alisha had spoken everybody fell silent and turned to look at her. Alisha felt anger and shame rise in her and melt into an uncomfortable mess.

'Do you love him?'

What could she say? Any answer to that question would have been a lie. Yes? She loved his future version. No? She still found the current Simon clumsy, innerving and not particularly sexy. She was confused; she needed to get away from them all.

'Why don't you go and suck yourself off?'

That seemed to have effect since Nathan lost interest in her and proceeded to answer her question even though she had left the room. She hoped nobody had noticed her confusion, but she was wrong.

'Do you love him?'

It was a bold suggestion and Simon would have shaken it off easily, had it not been for Alisha's expression when she stuck up for him. It wasn't necessary; Simon was quite used to Nathan's way of speaking, he didn't even consider it offensive any more. Now that everybody was looking at her, Alisha seemed to realise what she had said. Only for a second there was this utter confusion on her face that startled Simon. Did she not know the answer to this simple question? But somehow Simon felt it wasn't _that_ simple. Then he remembered the kiss she had given him only a couple of minutes earlier. He had to talk to her.

While the others were changing, he looked for Alisha. He found her in the hall, sitting on a chair, head in her hands. Walking up noiselessly to her, as was his habit, he nearly made her scream out of fright.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.'

'What do you want?' She was defensive as usual.

'Just wanted to ask you…' 'Ask you if everything's all right,' he was going to say but then he thought better of it. He needed to bring back the cheerfulness in her eyes. So he took a deep breath and said, smiling cheekily:

'Do you love me?'

Alisha stared at him for a second and then burst out laughing. Somehow Simon sensed strange bitterness in her laughter.

'Don't be stupid! I just had a tough night and needed to take it out on somebody.'

'Of course.' Simon wasn't convinced. Something in Alisha's manner led him to believe she was not being completely honest with him. There was something she was not telling him, something completely unrelated to any possible feelings she might have for him.

He was still deliberating on what Alisha might have been hiding when he was shaken out of his trance by Nathan falling to the ground after the probation worker pushed him. That's when he first saw _her_. She was staring at him, wide-eyed, as if he was the Mona Lisa unexpectedly received as a birthday present. Her whole body was screaming 'I like you!' so loud that even he with his practically non-existent experience with women could sense it. And when she said 'cute guy' Simon couldn't help but smile. 'Today must be my day,' he thought, still unsure what was going on, but feeling more confident now, more masculine and strong than ever.


	6. Simon proves them wrong

'So you think that if a girl likes me, there must be something wrong with her?'

'No, that's not what we're saying!'

'Isn't it? I thought that was exactly what we're...'

At this point Alisha knew they had lost. They had touched the part of Simon that was most vulnerable. It was no secret that Simon was still a virgin and that really bothered him. Telling him that no girl in her right mind would find him attractive was exactly what he had expected them to do. He didn't seem surprised. But that look he darted at her before he left them… there was so much bitter disappointment in it that Alisha felt she could melt into a tiny hot puddle of shame. They were just trying to protect him! She remembered the conversation her father had with her after he had met her first boyfriend years ago. She would never forget his final words: "Just make sure you don't do something you'll regret." And what did she do? She made sure never to have something to regret not having done. She did it all, and proudly, behind her father's back. She felt invincible every time she defied him. Now, there it was, in Simon's eyes, that same gleam of mad courage and plain stubbornness.

* * *

><p>'God, I hate them! I hate their smirks and their condescension, and Alisha's protests and Kelly's sympathy and Curtis's endless guilt… all that hypocrisy they call social behaviour. Nathan is the only one honest around here. All of them, laughing behind my back, doubtlessly sharing his views but not having the guts to be cruel to the 'poor innocent nerd'!'<p>

'What if they are right? What if I never find a normal girl who likes me? What if it never gets better than this? All my life I've hoped that one day I will wake up and things will be different. What if that's all there is to it? Can I deal with staying an awkward loser for the rest of time?'

'I say ENOUGH! Let them pity me while they can. I need friends, not patronizing social outcasts. And if Jessica wants me to be her friend, so I shall.'

* * *

><p>After gathering her strength she ran after him. Before she could reach the ground floor she heard voices. Simon was speaking with somebody. Alisha stopped dead at the door. He was doing it; he was asking the "cute, smiley, popular girl" out.<p>

'She is kinda pretty, I give him that. And she has really long legs. But they SO don't suit each other. She's taller than him, for God's sake!'

Alisha's mind was racing as, for the second time today, she was alone with her head in her palms. She remembered Future Simon's parting words: 'Your love makes him become me.' But Simon didn't want her love, he didn't want her. There was someone else he desired and Alisha was utterly helpless. Part of her wanted him to be happy and looked forward to the change a young love inevitably brings about. That wasn't enough, however. More than ever now Alisha wished she was the one to be his first, to teach him how to kiss and touch her, to reassure him when he felt too nervous and to explore with him all the new sensations. Once again she cursed her "superpower".

'Of course he doesn't want me, why would he? I'm a porcelain doll in a sealed soap bubble. Hell lot of help I'd be with his virgin-problem.' Alisha decided to spend the night at Future Simon's lair, reliving their short romance and gathering strength.

As she was walking around the cold apartment and looking at all the photos of them Future Simon had made, she noticed one that was obviously removed a couple of times. She reached for it…and her phone rang. Apparently, she was the only one who believed Nathan that Simon was in danger. Before she left, however, she took the photo off the wall and turned it around. On the back there was a short sentence.

'I will save you again, I promise.'

Again? What did he mean? Alisha was confused but decided to leave the deciphering for later. Now there was Present Simon to worry about.


End file.
